Valentine’s Day is often considered a day when couples carve out time in their busy schedules to do something romantic and have sex. Marketing around Valentine’s Day focuses on lingerie, sex toys, and uber-romantic dates. While there is nothing wrong with making time for sex and trying new things on Valentine’s Day, it may not be right for everyone.
Perhaps you do not enjoy sex, or have to avoid it temporarily for a medical reason? Maybe, you simply want to connect with your partner intimately, but without sex? There are plenty of ways to explore intimacy and your partner for Valentine’s Day without having sex. Here are 15 ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day that do not include sex.
#1: Give Each Other Massages
Massages are sometimes part of foreplay, but there are no rules that say you and your partner cannot enjoy touching one another while relieving some stress without having to actually have sex. Of course, couples who want to make this a sexual endeavor absolutely can, but there is something intimate about touching one another in a non-sexual way.
Exploring each other’s bodies, especially in places you may not usually touch, can bring new sensations and pleasure. You may also consider stimulating erogenous zones around the body like the lower back, wrist, and even the scalp. These are places you may not pay much attention to during sex, but which can still provide pleasure and stimulation to your partner.
Did you know Erosscia can actually work as a massager as well? Simply press Erosscia gently against any part of the body and let the vibrations do the work! This is especially effective in erogenous zones.
#2: Write Letters To One Another
Emotional intimacy can become neglected in relationships between busy people or those who barely have time for sex as it is. However, using Valentine’s Day as an excuse to remind your significant other how much you care for them can be more meaningful and intimate than sex.
Think about the last time you received a love letter or similar token of affection? It was probably at your wedding or during the early days of dating, right? While some couples may regularly partake in such an exercise, if you do not, Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to write up all the reasons you love and appreciate your partner.
Also, do not be afraid to get a little spicy in your letters! It is great to experience sexual gratification through sex with a partner or partners, but reading something your partner wrote about your sex life or even a fictional encounter between one another can bring a whole new way to explore one another intimately.
#3: Take A Night Away From The Kids
This one probably seems like a no brainer to any parents. While you love your kids, it can be difficult to even be romantic or show basic intimacy when there are kids in the house. Whether it means enlisting their grandparents to watch them for the night or hiring a babysitter, it may be worth finding arrangements just to have dinner together and sleep beside each other without children barging in at night.
Stargazing is considered an extremely romantic and intimate act. The quiet surroundings, little conversation, laying next to one another, and light touches of your bodies is far from sexual, but intensely intimate. This can be done in your backyard, on a camping trip, or in the back of a truck at an overlook. The options are endless.
#5: Have A Spa Day Together
Relaxation often feels like a distant pleasure in busy, modern life. Getting a massage or facial for yourself can be hard to squeeze in to your schedule. However, making it a date and going with your partner not only can be a great opportunity to get in some well deserved relaxation time. Like with stargazing, many spa activities do not involve talking, which can make them feel more intimate.
However, other spa activities can be a great way to feel and grow closer like sharing a hot tub or sauna. Conversations here are more private and intimate than they would be even over dinner.
#6: Dance Together
Following a wedding’s first dance or the occasional party, most couples do not regularly dance together. It may seem childish and like two teenagers going to prom, but that’s part of the fun! It can bring excitement and playfulness into the relationship. Dancing can also be as intimate or innocent as you like, making it perfect for couples, throuples, and people at any stage of a relationship.
#7: Make Want-Will-Won’t Lists
Want-Will-Won’t lists are a way to quickly and simply communicate sexual preferences to a partner. Often recommended at the beginning of an intimate relationship, it is a good idea to update them since our sexual preferences can change throughout our lives. Therefore, whether you have made them before or the concept is completely new, this can not only make communication easier, but even lead to learning new things about your partner.
To make a list, each partner creates three columns and names them “Want” “Will” and “Won’t.” In the “Want” column, each person places things they want from sex and which they will likely need in order to be satisfied with the sex and relationship. The “Will” column encompasses things that a partner does not need or want to do every time they have sex, but that they are willing to do for their partner. Finally, in the “Won’t” column are things that are completely off limits.
These lists can also be used to place other boundaries in the relationship and are an amazing way to open up communication about sex and boundaries.
#8: Rediscover Just Making Out
At some point in adulthood, making out becomes only precursor to sex, especially for married or longtime couples. Instead of making out inevitably turn into sex, try just making out with no other plans. This could definitely be difficult, but rediscovering this activity that was once the epitome of our early sex lives.
#9: Mutual Masturbation
Mutual masturbation is intimate, but also some may consider it sex. Whatever your outlook, this is an option to feel sexually satisfied and earn a new level of intimacy with your partner. You can choose to use toys or just your hands. These choices can actually help you learn how your partner likes to be satisfied and can act as foreplay for your orgasm.
#10: Talk About Your Fantasies
Sex–when done regularly with the same partner(s)–can begin to feel monotonous. Once you learn what your partner likes, it can become easy to fall into a routine. However, use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to discuss your fantasies, new and old! You’d be surprised what can learn about even the closest and longest term partners. Plus, it gives you the chance to try out something next time.
#11: Shower Together
Showering together is perhaps one of the most intimate activities you can do without sex. Washing each other’s hair and bodies can make you feel taken care of and protected in a renewed sense. Your sense of touch is heightened by the water, temperature, and partner’s touch. It can feel intimate and sexy without penetration or even touching genitals.
Wondering about how to enjoy some erotic shower sex positions, Erosscia has a complete blog article here to inspire you!
Sexting isn’t every couple’s forte. Though, sexting does not have to be exchanging photos. It simply means writing explicit messages to each other throughout the day. In general, sexting is any sort of texting or messaging that acts as foreplay. Therefore, it can include pictures, just text, or even sending each other sexy videos (of yourself or porn). The options are endless and if you are forced to spend the holiday away from your SO, this is a great way to feel intimacy from far away. Need some sexy ideas on sexting? then check out our previous Valentines Sexting for Relationship types blog here.
#13: Do A Boudoir Shoot Together
Boudoir–if unfamiliar with the term–is essentially a lingerie photoshoot. It is not explicitly pornographic, but it can be fairly suggestive and erotic on occasion.
While women most commonly take boudoir photos, it makes a fun couple’s activity too.
You’ll also end up with a keepsake!
#14: Meditate Together
If you and your partner are more on the spiritual side, meditating together can be a great activity. Each of you will individually work on your emotional and spiritual health together and afterward, you may feel refreshed and closer to your partner, even if nothing was said.
#15: Try Out Couple’s Therapy
Couple’s therapy often comes with a stigma. Perhaps it implies an impending divorce or cheating. The truth is that couple’s therapy can truly help any couple communicate better, discuss problems in a safe environment, and feel more intimately connected to one another. A therapy session may seem like the complete opposite of intimacy, but it truly can help you emotional connect in a newly intimate way.
Intimacy in a romantic relationship is not always about sex. The feeling of intimacy comes from feeling close to someone and fully accepted. This could include physical closeness, a long emotional talk, or attending a religious service of your partner, even you do not practice it.
Even if you do plan to have sex this Valentine’s Day (hopefully with your Erosscia in hand 😉), take some time to explore non-sexual intimacy too.